All that interview preparation paid off, you got the job- congratulations. But your inner chatterbox is going into overdrive. ‘It was luck…. They’re going to find out that I can’t do this job….It’s better to stick with what I know….’ You’re starting to feel sick in your stomach, the anxiety is kicking in and you begin to wonder if you have made a mistake, should you call them and tell them you’ve changed your mind? STOP. Yes, you heard me STOP this right now!
You got the job because you can do it, you went through an interview process and they assessed you. Now those negative voices are telling you ‘well it wasn’t a very thorough process….they probably didn’t have anybody else, I’m probably the best of a sad bunch of candidates….’ STOP IT, I mean it!
When we are faced with fear it's normal for our negative chatterbox to kick in. Our chatterbox is the place we store all our negative experiences through our lives. When these voices tell you that you can’t do the job, your conscious mind will send directions to the subconscious mind to support this thought. This is because your conscious mind has told your subconscious mind that you are nervous, you are going to try something different that is outside of your comfort zone. As a result, your subconscious mind starts to act on this. Unfortunately, your subconscious mind is only able to take orders, it can’t question or judge for itself it can’t decide if something is true or not. It simply believes what the conscious mind tells it. Your negative chatterbox will always be there, however, you can choose whether you let it feed your conscious and subconscious mind or you can replace them with positive messages.
You’ve accepted the job, trust that this is the time for you to move forward. When you hear the negative voices start you need to take action. Think about when someone gives you feedback but you don’t agree. You smile say thank you and move on. Do the same. Thank your ‘Negative Nellie’ and move on.
Now write down a positive statement that you can keep with you, perhaps in your notes on your phone, on post its’ and place on the fridge, place on your bathroom mirror anywhere where you continually see it. Read this statement to yourself over and over. This process allows you to start to replace the negative voices with positive ones. Your conscious mind is feeding your subconscious mind with positive directions– the reverse of your negative chatterbox.
Perhaps your statement could be something along the lines of:
‘I have all the skills, knowledge and experience that I needed for this job, I have the enthusiasm and the energy to grow with this job and together with the personal qualities I will be successful.’
Now let’s think about some of the practical steps that can help you.
Thinking about your job, which relationships will be key for you, the ones that are going to help you get the job done; provide you with the inputs you need and for those that you need to deliver to. Write a list, you may not know the names or the job titles, departments but this will come as you get to know more about the organisation.
As you identify these people arrange a time to meet with them to understand how your roles interact, what they need from you and by when, and what you need from them. Perhaps talk about how you communicate with one another, phone, email in person and what frequency you need to connect.
In each of these meetings see if you can identify a quick win, something that you can easily respond on or deliver which will show you listened to them, and that you are credible, creating a positive first impression. Maybe you are replacing someone, ask your key relationships what worked well for them with your predecessor that’s important for you to continue. Also, ask what was their biggest frustration or problem. This will give you an idea of where you can make a difference. However, be careful not to get into criticism of your predecessors and to commit to anything you are not going to be able to deliver.
Ask your boss to confirm what your immediate priorities are, what should be your focus for the first month as you settle into the organisation if you know what your boss wants, you have a greater chance of delivery, don’t assume. Maybe you can state what you believe they are but that you want to ensure you are aligned.
As you attend meetings there will be words, processes, projects that will come up that you have no clue about. Don’t worry just make a note of them (that way you have them captured) and then as you meet with different people ask them. People love to help others so don’t be afraid to ask and gradually you can cross them out. This is a great visual to show your progress and how much you have learned.
Trust in yourself that you have got this. Let take a recap
- Say no to your negative voices and replace with positive ones by developing your positive statement and keep referring to it
- Start to map out your key relationships, meet with them, find out what works and what doesn’t
- Get clarification from your boss of your priorities
- Identify your quick wins
- Capture the things you don’t know and start to work through them
Remember you can only grow by putting yourself in new situations, different environments and fresh challenges. Your time is now – go for it!
Sometimes we need that extra pair of hands, someone to help us think through a challenge to help us move forward, but someone who doesn’t have a hidden agenda and is truly independent. This is exactly how coaching sessions work. If you are facing a challenge or want to make a change, maybe you don’t know what that looks like yet or maybe you just don’t know where to start then consider if coaching could be the key to help you unlock your potential.
If you found this blog insightful why not sign up to receive my fortnightly update.