Have you found yourself going back to that job that you know? You thought you had made the break, you had planned your escape but for whatever reason, you are back there. Maybe they offered you more money, perhaps you changed employer but it may as well be the same. Maybe you’ve gone from being an employee to a contractor. Perhaps you found yourself in a redundancy situation and you felt this would force you to do what you’ve wanted for a while, but then you got scared and thought better the devil you know and maybe this is as good as it gets. Could you think of nothing else and until you do you will stay with what you know you can’t put your family through this uncertainty.
But now you are back those symptoms of not being in the right job are flooding back. Those feelings of unfulfilment, frustration and despair and then to add to this negative mix you start beating yourself up for not making a break for it first time around! Down the negative spiral, you fall.
When we want to change our careers to make a successful transition we need to first get clarity on what we want for our future self, what do we want to be able to do and have? Who do we need to be to feel happy?
It’s a bit like going back to an old lover. As you haven’t met anybody else, you start to doubt yourself and wonder if perhaps they weren’t such a bad fit, were you too fussy, those little habits of theirs that annoyed you were blown out of proportion and should you lower your expectations – No! There was a reason you walked away, what has changed? Consider this, if you had found that person who made you smile, gave you space to be yourself and accepted you for who you are, you wouldn’t even be contemplating these thoughts.
Changing careers can be challenging as we deal with fears, moving outside our comfort zone and consider new ideas. We can be our own biggest obstacle in holding ourselves back from making that change. To understand how you may be holding yourself back take a look at this previous blog.
Here are three questions to help you leave that ex behind.
- Imagine it is 12 months on from now and you are exactly where you want to be in your life, in your job, you are able to be yourself – who is that? You have all that you need within reach and you are able to do the things you want. Write down everything that this conjures up for you.
- Is there anything you can do within your current job to move you closer to this ideal? If there is are you willing to take those steps?
- Now it is 12 months’ time and your life hasn’t moved on, you are doing the same job, surrounded by the same people, you are no closer to achieving your ideal. How would you feel?
Even if you can make changes if it isn’t going to get you to where you want to be, what are you holding on to? Fear? Limiting beliefs about your ability, whether you deserve it, the enormity of what it means to change careers? Figuring out what you want to do instead? Firstly these feelings are completely normal, but they don’t mean we can’t move beyond them. To bring about the changes we want we have to be willing to be vulnerable and take action, to step outside our comfort zone, but you don’t have to do it alone. To help you make changes, explore these free resources and why not book yourself in for a free call to find one thing you can do today to help you wave goodbye to that ex, once and for all.